Mitzpeh

At 6 a.m., the Backman house awakens and begins its routine. The four children are sent to school, and the rest of the day belongs to Chabad and the students. The day is crammed with cleaning, filled with fundraising and packed with meetings until the children return from school and are put to bed. This is a typical day in the life of Nechama Backman.

Ten years ago, Nechama and her husband, Rabbi Eli Backman, moved to College Park and established the Chabad house at the university. Previously, there was a Chasid in Residence and programs worked through Hillel, but “having the place makes a big difference,” Nechama Backman said.

“It’s something that grows with you as time goes on,” Rabbi Backman said. “We came here married without kids, now we have four along with a five times larger Friday night.”

The Backmans’ Chabad house is a haven for both students and parents to discuss personal issues. Chabad holds one-on-one classes and group sessions and keeps its door open for any unannounced visits.

But the big focus of Chabad centers on the weekly Shabbat dinners, prepared by Backman. Around 7:30-8:00 p.m. on Friday nights, she prepares dinner for 100 to 200 people. “Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday are the only days that aren’t devoted to planning, cooking, or cleaning for Shabbat,” she said.

“I’m a very big procrastinator,” Backman said, but even if it is last-minute, dinner is always served. Once Hillel services are concluded and her husband returns home, the students follow and continue to fill up the room throughout the night.

Students who frequent at Chabad enjoy the planned, yet laid-back environment that the Backmans provide. Mackenzie Gutin, a junior special education major at the university said, “Chabad provides a free and amazing meal in the type of atmosphere that makes students want to come back.”

And what about the Backmans’ children? Each child contributes to the preparation of Friday night dinner and later joins the students at the tables.

“My kids are tremendous,” Backman said. “I think it’s important for students to see that I am a mother with kids. My house is part of Chabad house.”

Other than Chabad, the Backmans are also landlords for the eight student boarders in their house. In addition, Backman helps out the Mikvah Ateres Yisroel in Potomac, Md., over the phone by scheduling appointments to visit the mikvah for 150 women a month.

With all of these responsibilities, Backman’s first priority is still her children. By living in the students’ community, the Backmans really make themselves available, and Backman can remain an at-home mom. “If my kids didn’t like living here, then we would move,” Backman said. “They’re Terp fans!”

Running a student center with two people, taking care of four children, maintaining a home, carrying out numerous duties for the community and cooking for hundreds of people seems like a lot of responsibilities for one person to juggle. While outsiders might call Nechama Backman superwoman, from her perspective, she is just living life, day by day. Rabbi Backman said, “Somehow we balance it all, but I’m not sure if we can tell you the secret yet.”

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